Some years ago, one of the popular journalist said that it is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice. I am quite sure you will agree with me, this is a good quote that still relevant today. However, in my field of profession, to be nice is not necessary required. Why was that?
Have you ever know someone or even you, that become very nice to every people arround, but have difficulty in getting what you want them to do or not to do for you? Or if you have children, do you ever reject or refuse what your kids asked you to do or not to do? I bet you do.
To make someone do or not do your advise, you must get their attention first. And to get the attention, the most important thing you must get their respect, not their like. If they respect you, and like you too, that will be great, but just get their like will not make them pay attention on you.
Now back to your situation with the children. I believe you must love your kids so much, but it’s not make you respect them for some reasons, may be because of competence and experience matter. When there is no respect, you will disobey what your children ask to you. Yes, it is happen with others as well in reality.
I do not try to suggest you to get the respect and neglect the like, but this is the nature of human being. The best illustration would be from Sun Tzu story about preparing the special force of the Kingdom where the member of this special force were all King's concubines himself.
To make someone do or not do your advise, you must get their attention first. And to get the attention, the most important thing you must get their respect, not their like. If they respect you, and like you too, that will be great, but just get their like will not make them pay attention on you.
Now back to your situation with the children. I believe you must love your kids so much, but it’s not make you respect them for some reasons, may be because of competence and experience matter. When there is no respect, you will disobey what your children ask to you. Yes, it is happen with others as well in reality.
I do not try to suggest you to get the respect and neglect the like, but this is the nature of human being. The best illustration would be from Sun Tzu story about preparing the special force of the Kingdom where the member of this special force were all King's concubines himself.
King Ho-lú wanted a demonstration of Sun Tzu’s theories in action to see their effectiveness. So the King’s concubines, some 300 women, were summoned and divided into two companies. He placed one of the King’s two favorite concubines in charge of each and gave the women armor and weapons while explaining a set of drills he wished them to perform.
After he had shown them what he wished to be done he then ordered the King’s favorite concubines to lead their companies in performing the maneuvers. This almost predictably led to laughs from the concubines who did not believe him to be serious. They were, after all, not warriors. Sun Tzu then repeated his orders but again the concubines laughed and failed to heed.
This is when he uttered the quote at the beginning of this article, summoned the executioner and had the King’s favorite concubines beheaded. Perhaps Sun Tzu would have lost his own head as well due to an angry King Ho-lú except for the predictable result that ensued. Sun Tzu brought forth two more concubines, placed one in charge of each company and then he again ordered the drill completed. This time the remaining concubines performed the exercise flawlessly.
The Sun Tzu story above has shown us the lesson how to get attention from human being. When people do not respect you then it’s hard for you to effectively manage them whether they like you or not. If you a great leader, you must demonstrate the value of integrity to your people, then by the time, you will get their like as well.